Ten Ways To Impress Annabeth Chase
by etphonehome10
Summary: I like flowers that are alive, Percy." Percy is testing his list: 'Ten Ways To Impress Annabeth Chase.' Let's hope it works. Parody.


Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

Summary: "I like flowers that are _alive, _Percy." Percy is testing his list: 'Ten Ways To Impress Annabeth Chase.' Parody.

* * *

Ten Ways To Impress Annabeth Chase

1) Flattery

"Have you ever noticed how your hair lights up in the sunshine making it look like pure gold?"

"…"

"And how your eyes light up silver when you're thinking?"

"…"

"And how–"

"Are you seriously trying to flatter me?"

"…"

"It's not working, Seaweed Brain."

* * *

2) Shakespeare

"Annabeth, my dear! Thou looks bright in the sunlight!"

"Are you okay, Seaweed Brain?"

"Thy slender silhouette, shames even the moonlight's beauty."

"That's not even proper Elizabethan, Percy."

* * *

3) Poems

"Her eyes are grey and golden is her hair,  
The hair is so fair,  
I'm so lucky,  
That she's my girlfriend…?"

"Are you sure that that even rhymes?"

"Uh…"

"That poem's worse than Apollo's haikus."

* * *

4) Gifts

"What's this, Percy?"

"It's a gift."

"Hazelnut chocolates and roses. Didn't you know that I'm allergic to nuts?"

"Oh."

"Yes, _oh_."

"…"

"Also, I like flowers that are alive."

"…"

"I prefer useful gifts, Percy."

* * *

5) Useful Gifts

"Um, Percy?"

"Yes?"

"Do you know what this is?"

"It's a gift. A _useful _gift."

"Uh-huh. What am I going to do with these?"

"Uh… draw architectural stuff?"

"Percy, I draw with lead pencils. Not with 'Assorted Coloured Pencils.'"

* * *

6) Restaurants

"Seaweed Brain, I meant actually going out to _dinner_."

"This is dinner!"

"At Starbucks?"

"I couldn't find any other good places, though."

"I'm sure there are plenty of other better_ restaurants_, Seaweed Brain. This is a _café._"

"It has good food!"

"…"

"…"

"Next time, choose a restaurant."

* * *

7) _Better_ restaurants

"Percy."

"Um…yes…?"

"When I said a better restaurant, I didn't mean the most expensive restaurant in New York."

"What? I've been trying to get a booking for months and this is all you have to say?"

"I know, but do you really think you can pay this?"

"Sure! I saved up for it, I even got a job."

"The entrée costs $50, Percy."

* * *

8) Heroic feats

"What are you doing, Percy?!"

"I'm fighting a sea monster!"

"That's… a fish."

"I know, this type is pretty fearsome. Wow, he almost got me."

"Seaweed Brain, I know for a fact that all marine animals love you. The fish isn't even opening its mouth."

"…"

"I'm not impressed."

* * *

9) Show off

"Percy. Percy!"

"Yes, Annabeth?"

"What are you doing to James?"

"Relax, Annabeth. We're just training."

"Training?! He looks half-dead!"

"What? He's fine. I just gave him some water."

"Percy, a wave of seawater is not 'some water.' Having it splashed right on top of you is not refreshing either, unless you're a child of Poseidon. James is a son of Apollo."

* * *

10) Sunrise

"What in the name of Zeus are you doing?"

"Getting you up?"

"It's three in the morning!"

"I got you so we could watch the sun rise."

"No, romantic couples watch the sun _set._ Besides, we're not a romantic couple_._"

"…"

"By the way, it's daylight saving now so the sun's rising at seven."

* * *

"So."

"So."

"What is it this time, Seaweed Brain?

"What's what?"

"What else are you going to try on me?"

"Huh?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

"…I ran out of ideas."

"Good."

"Good?! I've been trying to please you for days! You're so fussy."

"…"

"..."

"Do you even know why I went out with you in the first place, Percy?"

"Because it was a good image."

"What?"

"You know, the hero and the heroine get together. The typical kind of thing."

"Your head is full of kelp."

"Your head is full of… knowledge."

"…"

"Hey, Wise Girl?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you go out with me?"

"Because you're you, Seaweed Brain."

"…"

"Stop smiling like that, you're starting to look like a Cheshire Cat."

"You know you love me."

"Uh-huh."

"Thanks. That was great for my ego."

"…"

"…"

"So."

"Do you want to get some ice-cream, Annabeth?"

"Sure."

"Ah, so you like ice-cream! I'll keep that in mind."

"Don't even think about it."

* * *

**A/N:- **Hmm, I haven't tried these before (just dialogue). This isn't serious, by the way. I doubt that this would ever happen to Percy and Annabeth at all, but anyway. Let me know what you think. Flames welcome. Praise liked. Constructive criticism loved.


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